Yowsers....

This has been a week of revelations.

I live in bondage to fear. And it's been wreaking havoc on my spiritual life for a year.

This is the week that God decided to talk about it with me. I went to bed one night...just minding my own business fluffing the pillows and curling up under the big fluffy down comforter...and suddenly - WHAM - the root causes and life circumstances that have nurtured that fear all become VERY clear. It was like seeing your life flash before your eyes...almost too much information to process at once.

R and I talked about it the next night for a long time and he helped me work through.

But another whammy came the next morning. R was walking on the treadmill and had 12 minutes left before I could switch off with him, so I got online to do a devotional. I scrolled through my 'favorites' bar and clicked on one that I thought was random selection. Boy, was I ever wrong.

(Note to self: In God's world, there is no such thing as random selection.)

The main verse of the devotional was WORD FOR WORD what I had shared with R the night before. The verse also contained God's promise that He would OVERCOME that exact fear.

Yowsers.

I also realized this week that I've been working and volunteering in certain areas that are perhaps not what God has gifted me to do. (The fact that I always feel totally inadequate, drained, and cranky afterwards probably should have tipped me off months ago....) So therein lies the issue of...if God isn't calling me to that, then what the bajeebas is He calling me to do???

Also this week: I started an awesome new Bible study with Priscilla Schirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur, on the "Anointed, Transformed and Redeemed" Life of David.

(Note to readers: Run as fast as your cute little flip flops will take you to your nearest Lifeway store and get this study.)

Today I had to tell a student at least 20 times how to find the letter F on the piano (I am so not kidding about how many times I had to repeat myself). All the way home I was thinking about how this blog post was going to be a funny recap of that...

then I had one of those revelation moments again.

Part of yesterday's Bible Study was brought to mind when Priscilla Schirer was talking about dealing with a stubborn donkey who didn't want to be led...(I'm speaking literally, not figuratively...get the study and you'll understand...), so she kept pulling on one side of the rope and the donkey kept locking its knees and pulling back in the other direction. And they pulled and pulled for over two hours and never got anywhere. And God spoke to her in that moment and said, "Girl, don't you get frustrated at that donkey - this is what you and I do all the time!"

So as frustrated as I was by that student today...(tell me HOW MANY TIMES do you have to REPEAT it until the poor child gets it???), it was an astounding reminder that God often has to repeat the same information over and over and over with me until I get what He's trying to tell me.

Call me, Lord...I'll try to answer on the first ring this time....